updates and anger

We'll start with the updates... so today is day four of my twenty four day Advocare challenge. I am down four pounds.  My cravings have not been too bad, with the exception of a nice hot cup of coffee with creamer and sugar.  I informed a good friend today that I might actually claw someone's eyes out for a cup.  Alas, that's why this is a 'challenge', right?  I miss beer too, some days more than others. Six more days. :)

And onto the anger... I get tired of not being a priority.  It happens in more than one area of my life.  I like to think that I return the respect that I am given.  I am tired of being taken for granted, tired of being an afterthought, I am just tired.  I am also tired of being angry.

I made a commitment to myself that I was going to make it a point to change my life this year.  Personal growth comes at a cost; realizations that we are not going always like where we are and what we have done, some people that we have in our lives shouldn't really be there, and some people that we have left behind actually should have.  There is no simple answer and no simple solution.  The only thing that is certain is that time has a way of bringing us the answers we seek.  Sometimes later, sometimes sooner, ready or not.

Advocare and all that is cleansing in my world

So I am on day three and doing better than I thought after carving out 90% of all of the things that I love and reach for when I want to eat.  Some things are harder to give up than others, but mostly - it's just about convenience.  I am an instant gratification person - if I am hungry - I want it, like yesterday.

I tend to be a bit impatient in most aspects of my life.  I want resolution and answers and results NOW.  Something to work on, especially as I am going through this lifestyle change.  Weight loss and the change to my body will take time.  I need to remain steadfast in my efforts, and the change will come.

Let's be clear - I am not trying to be skeletor.  I like being curvy, but I'd rather be firm curvy with the shape that I want.  And that shape is NOT round and lumpy lol.

That being said - me and the Advocare cleanse fiber drink are absolutely not friends.  I cannot get that crap to stay down for any amount of time.  As soon as I swallow it, back up it comes.  It was worse than morning sickness.  So - fiber supplements and I will begin our journey for the rest of this cleanse phase (7 more days if you are counting along with me).

My poor husband is trying to do this too, though I think he is a little worse for the wear without his icees.  What we can have is limited, but not unreasonable if you are committed to it.  Pre-baby body is a good motivator for me - and I am just ready.  I started this on a Wednesday, the week before Thanksgiving because I am firm in my belief that if you are not ready to make a change - it doesn't matter when you start - you are not going to follow through.  I am going to be faced with all kinds of obstacles in my life.  How I deal with those obstacles determines what I will get in return.  It's all about choices.  Choices that are the best for you, even if they are not always what you want. :)