flattered... I think not - oh, and happy fall

I know that imitation is supposed to be the most sincere form of flattery.  And normally, I would be flattered, but when it's by a psychotic bitch - I am just creeped out.

Seriously - WTF creeper LOL!  Get your own style, look, hair color, hair cut... the list goes on.

All of that aside - fall is upon us, and that makes me a happy girl :)  So many things are happening.  -Kingston is officially in Pre-K (growing up too fast!) 

-Fall decorations are going up... 

-College football starts this week. Go Bucks!

Favorite time of year.  Hands down.  

So ready for hayrides, hoodies, fires in the fire pit, hot chocolate, leaves and snuggles with the windows open.

Sometimes

Sometimes I think about how different things would be if Jerod's mom's side of his family was still a part of our lives. I wonder if Kingston will be sad when he is older that he has a grandmother, three uncles, and countless other relatives that he has never met, but that his sisters know and have a relationship with. I wonder if our lives would be worse than what we have now, because my husband is a different person now. I feel selfish sometimes because I am almost relieved that I don't have to worry about some of the negativity.  I know that the bridge has been burned, and not for Jerod's lack of trying to move past the stupid argument that started the whole thing.

What does make me sad is that sometimes I feel like my husband has had to grieve the loss of his mother because he chose to spend his life with me. Then I realize that no matter who Jerod had chosen to spend his life with, the issue would have been the same. His mother felt threatened and replaced by me, without my having to do anything to make her feel that way. It was her own insecurity.

His mom loved me until we moved in together and then found out that we were pregnant. I remember being heartbroken that his mom and brothers were upset that we were expecting. My parents and Jerods dad and his wife were so excited for us. She has never met Kingston, and from what the girls have said, their mom had pictures of him on her phone somehow and they talked about what an ugly baby he was.

Whether it was really said, or told to the girls as a way to try to hurt us, it proved for us that walking away was the right choice. How can you ever put trust in someone after that? She spends the night at his ex's house, they have each others names tattooed on their bodies, its just weird. And my good ole MIL has a daughter now, according to her. 

I am always his bitch wife, and you know - I will take it, because based on his mom and his ex, if I am a bitch, there is not a word on English to describe what they put him through. If being a supportive wife that helps you reach personal and professional goals without expecting anything in return is a bitch, well I guess that is what I am. They are right that he deserves me, because they didn't deserve him and he walked away. I can say that I have honestly given him my love, honesty  and confidence in himself to go after what he wants. It bothered me for a very short time that everything got blamed on me. It was always my fault that Jerod stood up to them, or that he called out a lie, it filed for custody of his kids.

His girls are my heart, our son is my world and they are all my soul. No matter what happens, I am in it for better or worse. My vows actually mean something to me. When I married Jerod, I knew that our life would never be cookie cutter, that there would be tough roads and battles and drama. All that matters is that we have weathered the storm together and it has not broken us.

ah weekend!

Sometimes I really think that 'weekend' is a misnomer... I think I have more work to do at home sometimes than I do at work.  Or maybe it's that at work I don't have children, pets, and a spouse hindering my ability to complete a task LOL.

So while Kingston is watching Rio, all three of the dogs are napping and my husband is occupied with work of his own... maybe I can get the house clean, so that it can be a mess again by dinner...

Ah the life of a mommy and wife...

whirlwind...

Stuff is happening fast in our house lately.  The summer is flying by, the puppy is growing and Kingston is ever changing.

It's crazy at work, lots to do and thank God we are prepared for it.  Jerod and I are enjoying all of the good things that are coming our way right now, but we are keeping in mind that the storm is coming.  Sooner than later, because all of the ducks are in a row for us... In a few short weeks, the paperwork will be piling up and things will be set in motion.

While there has been drama lately, I find that I am not even surprised anymore... while I don't appreciate being called the 'C' word in front of my child and my neighbors - the classless mouth that it came out of will need to try a little harder to get under my skin.  I am not a doormat, I am not afraid to tell her to shut her mouth, and most of all, I am just tired of the piece of shit that she is.  I am not afraid to tell her that either.

Mother is a term that should be held in the highest regard.  Her lack of care for the girls kills me.  I take better care of the fish at our house than she does of her own children.  To be a real mom - you have to put the work in.  Buy them clothes, spend time with them, take them for medical care when they need it, have a moral compass... I could go on forever.  Most of all - LOVE THEM. She doesn't deserve them, and hopefully the judge and GAL will agree.

I have taken on so many roles in life and I take each one with a grain.  I love ALL THREE of my children, whether I gave birth to them or not.  I will support my husband forever in his mission to give the girls a better life.  They are part of my heart too.

Here is to the future and all that it holds.  May our stressful road ahead be a short one, with a little rainbow at the end.

busy busy busy!

Happy July - so much going on this month!  So many appointments, ramp up is in full swing on a project at work, and it's summer time, so the kids are out of school.

Honestly, I am ready for cooler weather, hoodies, and football.  It's my favorite time of year, I am not a summer person!

July is going to fly by and soon it will be time to get school stuff for the girls and Kingston will be back in preschool for year two!

It's hard to believe that at this time next year, I will be getting Kingston ready for Kindergarten! It all goes so fast.

our story

Our story is pretty simple, but it's also quite complicated.  Jerod and I have known each other for more than half of our lives, we grew up less than a block away from each other.  Better to say that we knew of each other, had a 'high school moment' (that's what we will call it) and then ran into each other again in October of 2005 at Lucky's.  We have been together ever since.  While the road was not always pretty - we have overcome so much in our nearly seven years together.

On January 14, 2007 - Jerod asked me to marry him after the AFC Championship game, yes - he got down on his knees and yes - I cried. 

On October 03, 2008 - we found out that we were having a little Lambert (not planned, but not completely unplanned either - just the will of a higher power I think).  This obviously changed our wedding planning.

We were married at a little chapel in downtown Columbus on May 19, 2008, three weeks before Kingston came to join us.  We wanted to officially be 'The Lamberts' before he arrived ♥.

Kingston's arrival made us begin to look at where we were and where we wanted to be, and the change in direction began by December 2007.  We worked really hard, and have accomplished all of what we have set out to do so far. There is much more on the horizon.

When Jerod and I started dating, I knew that our lives would always be a little bit different.  Jerod had two kids from a previous relationship.  This meant that I was taking on a ready made family - and all of the drama that came with it.  

There are days that it is hard to be the wife of someone who has constant stress with not being able to do everything that he wants to do for his daughters - and not being able to make it better.  And it took a lot of time and support to undo all of the negativity and doubt caused by both his ex and his own mother.  

Jerod loves with his whole heart.  I am lucky to say that I am the one who has that love - and his daughters are worth all that we have been through to get where we are.

While I remain the person that gets 'blamed' because my husband stands up for himself and is not afraid to voice his opinion - I am so proud that he has the confidence in himself to do this.  All I have ever done is help my husband remember that he is worth it, they are worth it - and most of all - if he wants it, go after it.  He is a great dad to all three of his kids!

We are still reaching and exceeding our goals together as time goes on, which means that we are doing something right, and the sacrifices that we have made are worth it. :)

what is it about quiet time...

What is it about those moments where you have nothing to do, and should be relaxing - those moments that you want so badly -  that cause you to think about things that are not realistic.  For example - I am a working mom, a self-admitted busy body... but I still think about how awesome it would be to stay home and have babies and be nothing but crafty and awesome.  Then I get sad thinking that I have somehow missed out on my son by working.

Then I snap back to reality... I can barely make it all weekend without leaving the house to do something, anything just to get a moment of peace from the madness of pets and kids and cleaning.  That doesn't mean that I don't want it - I am sure that I could find something to do...

Then when it's quiet - I am bored.  No one needs my help, I don't need to dodge that sneaky lego that always seems to find my bare foot, and I am not leaning against the sink to put in my contacts and leaning back to realize that I am covered in sparkly kids Crest and need to change. Again.

While there is something magical in those quiet moments... I can't help but to miss the chaos of my 'real life'.  ♥