self sabotage

I am incredible at it.  Really.  I just want to be happy, and well adjusted, and... normal?  We will roll with that for lack of a better word.  Normal, but not ordinary.

I am in my last week of 'family' life before I set off into single motherhood and living on my own.  I am nervous, but ready.  Things have been in a constant state of unrest for a year, and really for much longer than that.  All of my saving, and purchasing and planning - it is all in play now.

I am hoping that I can just breathe out all of the stress, all of my insecurities and embrace my imperfection in the coming weeks and just love where I am in my journey and just go where my path leads me.

My life, my choice, my heart, my feelings, my dreams - no one has the power to take any of those from me unless I give them the power to do so.

Self sabotage comes in when I feel taken advantage of, insecure, used or just foolish for trusting those that I shouldn't, but it only affects those that actually stick around or want to, because I am unable to trust that they are not going to do or are not doing the same things to me.

I don't know how long this phase lasts, but I am over it already!  Six days to a new life, and hopefully - a new attitude.