I always know what I want... it seems like I can plan and plan and make sure that every detail is accounted for, and then... I lose the courage to make it happen. I know I am afraid, but I don't know why. I hate just going through the motions, the same thing day in and day out, knowing that what is best for me is hiding in my head, and that I just need to push a little harder to make it happen.
I don't understand sometimes why the fear of being wrong, or the fear of rejection, or even the fear of looking foolish, no matter how irrational will stop me in my tracks.
Maybe it's the people that I seek acceptance from, or the people that I am desperately trying to distance myself from. Or maybe it's my own insecurity... whatever it is... I need to learn how to start having faith in what I know is right, even if it is not guaranteed to be smooth and easy. And even if I might hurt someone that I don't want to hurt (which is most people, even if they have hurt me).
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